Delusion 2

Now to me and how I came to experience hat ‘burning ring of fiery delusion‘ (kudos to June Carter Cash and Merle Kilgore):

Young, naïve, and hungry for eternal wisdom and foresight, I started reading and hearing a lot of such stuff. It felt like an revelation, as something that was ‘otherworldly’ and pretty much overlooked be common folks. It helped me find my place in history and prepare myself for the forthcoming apocalypse, like a pregnant woman who would soon enter the labor phase. I felt convinced and did my best to spread the good news (not just this one, but others as well). It was a time of change, religious uplift and elation. Finally, everything will come true – soon. So, better be prepared.

Well, fortunately, I do seem to also have an analytical mind (surprise) – and a good (though slow) sensing of delusional points of view. Actually, it helped me a lot that at that time I had a friend who was diagnosed as schizophrenic, and so I came to visit psychiatric institutions and a rehab center where I met other people with often bizarre behavioral attitudes and states of mind. I became interested in the dealings of the mind/psyche/brain … and learned that … yes, I did believe things I shouldn’t have. This made me very angry – about myself and others. Why did I believe in them? Why did I fell into this burning ring of delusions? Good questions. Please stay tuned.

As an interlude, I would like to express some of my feelings in poetry (if you can call them so). They are very strong and offensive, for they describe dangerous forms of abusive pseudo-Christian authority as well as the destructive powers of self-inflicted delusions (yes, that’s me). It is tough to break the bonds that tie them together. Please note that I do not want to criticize true Christianity and the honest intent to serve God in humility.


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